-Yah. -Musketeers, to battle.
Aah! Salem, you promised the spell wouldn't last very long.
-Aah! -Ooh!
Nah-ha!
Aah!
Hey!
- That's my book report. - Huh?
Salem!
Hmm. You know, the French really know their cheese.
Salem! When is this spell going to end?
Right about now.
Great! My room has been trashed by the three musketeers. Good one, Salem.
Hey, you're the one who said you wanted your book report to "really come alive."
Not my fault you didn't take time to think it through...
...and realize the spell might have a downside.
And if I don't clean up this room, my downside is gonna be in big trouble.
-Thanks very much. -Thanks, yourself.
You know, you have a history of jumping into things...
...before you have all the facts you need.
Well, how about that time you put that dinosaur model together...
...and jumped ahead without reading all the directions on the glue packet...
...and then had a plastic T-Rex stuck to your hand for a week?
And then there was that other time when you didn't bother...
...to read the whole recipe and ended up baking an exploding cake.
Sabrina, Harvey's at the back door!
Wish I could stay to hear yet another embarrassing story about myself...
...but I've got company.
Aw, come back any time. I've got a million of them.
Hey, Sabrina, wanna come out and do some boarding?
Sure, Harvey. But aren't you going to be a little overdressed?
Oh, I've got to be an usher at my cousin Harold's wedding in a little while.
But we still got time to cut some pavement.
Cool. I'll get my stuff.
Uh, your toaster is ringing.
Oops. Just remembered. Bum leg. Can't board. Thanks anyway. Bye.
Phew.
Hot! Ow, ow, ow!
Who set the toaster on extra dark again?
Two emergency messages from the netherworld.
-I wonder what's so urgent. -It's from Grandma and Grandpa.
"We'll be visiting you later today. We have an announcement...
...that may come as a terrific shock. As you know...."
"We have been separated for almost a month now.
And we have made a very important decision...
...that we want our family to be the first to know about.
Yours immortally, Warwick and Maroot."
Oh, no! They're getting a divorce. I just know it!
Sabrina, don't jump to conclusions.
It may not be that at all.
After all, they have been seeing that marriage counselor.
But if they get a divorce, what'll happen to all the cool family stuff?
Like summers at Grandma and Grandpa's house at the lake?
I learned to swim there and to water-ski and dive.
Grandma and Grandpa's house is my favorite place in the whole world.
Absolutely magical.
I don't want anything to change. I won't let it.
- Not the toaster. - Not the microwave.
I don't get it. What could it be?
-Quigley. -Hey, Jane.
-Special delivery for you, Sabrina. -For me?
Yes! It's the video I ordered. Gargantic: The Special Edition.
I, myself, felt that the film was over-long, with only passable dialogue...
...and performances, but still worth seeing for the crisp editing...
...and outstanding state-of-the-art visual effects.
Look, the answer to all our problems.
It's Gargantic. It's about this guy named Mac...
...and this girl named Tulip and how their love survived against all odds.
-Huh? -Don't you get it?
All we need to do to keep Grandma and Grandpa from getting a divorce...
...is to remind them how much they really love each other.
What's this about your grandmother and grandfather?
They're coming here to make a big announcement.
Sabrina's convinced it's that they're getting a divorce.
Are you sure you're not jumping to conclusions again, Sabrina?
I know that's what it is. I can just feel it, Uncle Quigley.
What if Mom and Dad are divorcing? Aah!
Oh, get a grip. We don't know for sure that that's what they're gonna announce.
That's it, that's the key.
We don't give them a chance to make the announcement.
-Aah! -We start working on them...
-...from the minute they walk in the door. -We?
Right. The whole family. Including Salem.
Excluding Salem. I have no intention...
...of letting two of my oldest friends see me in this humiliating condition.
Aah! Okay. Who set the toaster on extra dark again?
Usually I'm not comfortable meddling in other people's lives...
...but we are talking about possibly saving a marriage here, so....
-So? -So I'm willing to go along...
...with trying to get them back together, on one condition.
No magic. I'm still recovering from the last magic-induced disaster.
All I asked for was a hot dog with relish...
...and I ended up with a 40-foot frank...
...that was being chased around the house by a dancing leprechaun.
You had to upgrade us to Witch Cook '95.
How'd I know there'd be glitches?
Well, okay. No magic, then.
We'll be matchmakers the good old-fashioned mortal way.
And it'll still work. I know it will.
Oh, Maroot, our love can only grow stronger...
...now that Sabrina has brought us together again.
How can we ever thank her?
- How about doubling my allowance? - Sorry to burst your bubble...
-...but your plan isn't gonna work. -You don't even know my plan.
I don't even know it.
So how do you know my plan won't work?
If you get your knuckles out of my rib cage, maybe I'll tell you.
Do you know how much licking it takes to get a coat this smooth?
So borrow my hair gel.
Now, cut the complaining and just tell me...
...why I can't keep my grandparents from getting a divorce.
First, let me point out...
...that you don't know for a fact that they're planning to get a divorce.
The only evidence we have is your opinion.
And second, they are two of the most stubborn creatures in the netherworld.
Once a Spellman decides to do something...
...nothing will change their minds.
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm a Spellman too.
And nothing is going to change my mind about doing what it takes...
...to keep my grandparents together.
This is gonna be a bigger disaster than the sinking of the Gargantic.
Harvey, you've gotta help me figure out how to keep my grandparents together.
Eh-- Gee, Sabrina. I have a hard time just keeping my socks together.
Come to think of it, when you put two socks in the dryer...
...and only one comes out, where does the other one go?
Harvey, focus.
Your cousin, the one who's getting married...
...did he ever mention any stand-out stuff they did that paved the way to love?
They played a lot of miniature golf.
Maybe something else?
Um, they went to a lot of really hot concerts.
Please, Harvey, can you think of anything else?
-They did go out to dinner a lot. -That's it.
That's something that might actually work. Thanks, Harvey, you're amazing.
Yeah, right.
I know how we start. With a romantic dinner.
But I don't know how to cook without magic.
Believe me, you don't know how to cook with magic.
Well, one of us can cook.
And I had to go and say no magic, didn't I?
Please do it, Uncle Quigley.
A big romantic feast is just the thing we need...
...to get Grandma and Grandpa back together.
-Well, uh.... -Great!
Now, here's what you'll need to pick up at the store.
Fork-tailed spoon fish. It's Grandpa's favorite.
-And duck eggs. -And baby broccoli and caviar and--
The door. We don't have time for interruptions right now.
Hurry, Uncle Quigley, we've got a marriage to save.
-And get Baked Alaska. -And Maine lobster and Georgia peaches.
Ahem. And catnip. Imported.
Sabrina, how's my favorite granddaughter?
Grandpa Warwick, you're so early.
Ha-ha-ha! Nonsense. I'm exactly on schedule as always.
Now where are Hilda and Zelda keeping themselves?
Your grandmother will be here any minute...
...and we have something very important to tell you.
Uh, before you get around to making any announcements, um...
...first let me show you my room. It's so cool you're here.
We're all totally excited. Even Salem.
Ha, Salem? Why, I haven't seen that old warlock...
...since I roomed with him in school, back at old Saint Skip's.
Where is he? We all expected great things of him, you know.
Uh, he's out getting his fur-- Uh, hair done.
Anyway, just wait until you see my room.
Uh-oh. Uh, on second thought let me show you Hilda's room instead.
No, nonsense. I....
Aah, ooh.
My word, Sabrina. As my granddaughter...
...the granddaughter of an award-winning warlock accountant...
...I would've expected you to have a more highly developed...
...sense of neatness and order.
Uh, it's actually the latest new style in interior decorating.
Um, it's in all the teen magazines.
Yes. I think it's time you were instructed...
...in the proper use of a tidiness spell, young lady.
Still a neat freak. Ooh, oh.
Aah!
Of course, you know I'm here for a more important reason...
...than just helping you clean your room, Sabrina.
I must find Hilda and Zelda.
I have a very important announcement to make.
No! Let's wait for Grandma.
And boy, what a wonderful grandma she is.
The nicest, kindest, most beautiful woman in the netherworld.
Ooh! Yes. She really is one in a million.
You know, when I first met her, she--
Hold that thought, Grandpa.
I got Grandpa to admit that Grandma's one in a million.
That's step number one.
How are we coming up on step number two, the killer romantic dinner?
Quigley's not back yet.
Which gives us some time to think about what's going on here.
I mean, what if Mom and Dad aren't really here to announce their divorce--
I'm too busy doing stuff right now to think, okay?
Gotta go.
Oh! Ding dong. Grandma's here.
- Grandma. - Oh, Sabrina.
Where are Hilda and Zelda?
I really, really think it's best we get the announcement made...
-...as soon as possible. -How about a walk first?
Through the park? Flowers in bloom, birds in song.
Just you and Grandpa. He says he thinks you're one in a million.
Mm. Perhaps another time.
Right now, we need to make the announce--
No! Not yet.
I mean, not until we've talked about your trip. So how was it?
Oh, my darling. Thank you for reminding me.
On my way over, I ran into a delightful group of fairies.
Who, when they heard I was visiting...
...my beloved daughters and granddaughter...
...insisted on sending along gifts for all of you.
I brought unicorns for everyone.
Ah! Maroot.
Not only do you have to be late as always...
...but you also have to ruin my efforts at tidying this place up...
...by bringing unicorns.
Everyone knows there's no way to housebreak a unicorn.
Oh, for goodness sakes. You old coot.
Don't be such a party pooper.
I'll keep them in my closet, Grandpa, until we can hire a unicorn whisperer.
Please just don't fight.
And what gifts did you bring?
A desk organizer and a broom, no doubt.
Always right there with a put-down, aren't you, Maroot?
Aah!
We better get dinner on the table.
What's going on?
You are irresponsible and you consort with fairies.
Ohh!
And you're a fuddy-duddy who folds his dirty clothes...
...before he puts them in the hamper.
Maybe a divorce wouldn't be such a bad thing.
Bite your tongue.
Hey, I've known several couples over the centuries...
...who divorced and went on to be happily married...
...to other people.
They did?
Oh, who needs children or grandchildren...
...when I have my perfect soul mate?
No! It would be too awful.
I know we promised Uncle Quigley no magic but--
Ah, that ever pesky little "but." What could it mean?
It means forget the little romantic dinner. We're going for the big-time magic.
If there was ever a time for the Spooky Jar, this is it.
We've gotta get Grandma and Grandpa back in love...
...before they have the chance to announce their divorce.
I'm in. Spooky Jar to the rescue.
Using Spooky Jar magic on Mom and Dad?
I don't know.
Sabrina, Hilda, Zelda! Where are you?
Maroot and I are ready to make our announcement.
Oh, stop all that yelling, Warwick! They're probably in the kitchen.
I will cough up a hairball the size of Cleveland...
...right under your bed if those two stay around long enough...
...to find out my secret.
The Spooky Jar is in the den. We'll sneak in the front door...
...and be right back with the spell.
See? I told you. In the kitchen. You never listen.
We'd like to make our announcement now, dear.
Where are Hilda and Zelda?
They're, uh, out. Um, doing their hair. They'll be right back later.
You told me Salem was having his done too.
Is everyone in this house obsessed with their hair?
Salem? Here?
Oh, why, I haven't seen that big, handsome hunk...
...of a warlock in centuries.
Where is he?
Uh, our pots and pans always get excited around dinnertime.
You guys go into the den. No! The living room. I'll get Hilda and Zelda.
Got a spell hot out of the jar.
One that will recreate Mom and Dad's honeymoon.
Perfect! "Waft this dust around the room...
...and old love is rekindled, va-va-va-voom."
Thank you. And thank you.
Oh, honey. Reservations during hailing season are so much cheaper.
We could've gotten here sooner, if you hadn't stopped to go shopping..
...at that harmonic convergence outlet.
And what about you?
-Oh, who are you to tell me... -I can't believe you!
What's happening?
This is supposed to be super romantic and they're fighting worse than ever.
How were we supposed to know their honeymoon was a disaster?
Hey, Sabrina.
-Oh, my gosh. We left the door open. -Aah!
I got a break from the wedding rehearsal.
Want to do some boarding? Whoa. Sabrina, what's that?
Uh, Uncle Quig's new big screen DVD hi-res ultra what-do-you-call-it TV.
Bye. Catch you later.
Hilda, Zelda, there you are.
Well, now that we're all finally here...
...I think it's time that we made our announcement.
No! Not yet! Gotta have snacks first. Be back in a flash.
We need a love potion and we need one now.
-There is that old standby. -Number nine?
Perfect. Hit it.
Belfry-flavored bat wing, eye of newt, web of Charlotte...
...three of hearts. There. Done.
Anyone who drinks this will instantly fall in love...
...with the first person they see.
Of course, it won't last more than an hour...
...but maybe that'll be long enough for Mom and Dad...
...to forget about their announcement.
A backup supply, just in case.
Grandma and Grandpa just relived their honeymoon...
...and now they're gonna want a divorce more than ever.
Dinner's off. Had to come up with a more intense plan. Sorry.
Teenagers. Pah!
Mm.
Ahh.
Uh, hubba-hubba!
Sabrina, look out.
I warned you about those unicorns.
Wait. The backup glass.
Huh?
Aah!
Come back, I love you.
Uncle Quigley! No!
Sabrina, honey, is everything all right?
No. It's all wrong.
Uncle Quigley's gone postal, my grandparents are getting a divorce...
...and no matter how much I want to, there's nothing I can do to fix any of it.
What are you talking about, Sabrina? We're not getting a divorce.
But your important announcement.
It's that Maroot and I have decided to renew our wedding vows.
In fact, the minister should be here any minute.
-Really? -Oh, yes.
And you girls are going to be my attendants.
When I heard Salem might be around...
...I thought perhaps he could be my best man.
But it looks like I'll have to ask my cousin Lenny...
...the zombie to do the honors.
Wait a minute. I went through all this craziness for nothing?
I can't believe it.
Oh, go ahead and believe it, doll baby.
You did what you always do. You jumped in without checking the facts.
Oh, yeah. That old "look before you leap" thing.
Guess that is pretty key, huh?
And the next time you bang open the door of a cabinet...
...you might wanna check who might be trying to hide in it first.
Salem! What in blazes happened to you, old man?
Before I answer any questions, why don't you explain...
...how you could even consider replacing me...
...with a loser like Lenny the zombie.
Now make way for the best man.
It really was a great wedding.
And didn't Mom and Dad look cute...
...leaving for their second honeymoon on that broomstick built for two?
Hey, Sabrina, the wedding rehearsal is finished.
-Still wanna do some boarding? -Sure.
-Need to check that out? -Nah. I'm sure it'll be fine.
Good one, Spellman. You just did it again.
You've jumped to another conclusion.
D'oh! Catch you later, Harvey.
I've gotta make sure everything's cool with the unicorns.
-The what? -I promise I'll explain later.
Aunt Zelda, Aunt Hilda, Salem, help!
Freaks.